My Middle Child, The Crystal Child and my Past Life Brother

Ever since I was pregnant with my middle child, Drayce, I could sense a deeper-than-this-world connection to him. I always joke, “he arrived in this world dramatically and hasn’t stopped the drama since.” He came very quickly, born in about 15 minutes unexpectedly.

This part is going to be a little bit of a repeat from a past blog, so hang with me here for a bit-I’ve learned MUCH more! Currently, he is 6 years old. He’s always been my “special” boy. In many ways. He didn’t speak until about three and still to this day in some sort of speech and cognitive therapy everyday since being a toddler. He’s always been “quirky” health wise, nothing ever too serious but he’s had pretty much everything under the sun. He seemed to pick up every illness possible. When he was three he had a double ear infection, strep, mono, pneumonia in one lung, bronchitis in the other, swollen liver, spleen, and infections in his legs causing him to lose the ability to walk (temporarily). He was really, really sick. His lymph nodes in his throat were so swollen he couldn’t eat, speak and barely breathe.
They were literally baseball size, as well as the ones on the back of his neck. The doctors did what they could. Some of the treatments would counteract with each other so it was a difficult, long road. Nothing individually was a big deal but all the infections combined was too much. He wasn’t doing well.

He always had illnesses, nothing too serious, just quirky. There were periods of time where his lymph nodes would just balloon up to baseball size, and not just the ones on his throat but his entire head/neck. Or when he couldn’t use his legs for days due to infections. Everything for the most part would heal up quickly once on antibiotics. He wore a helmet as a baby, he was colicky, he was on meds for reflux. Not unusual things just a little different. Oh, and he’s a little “host monkey” for strep, he almost drowned once, he has mild cognitive issues. There’s a point to this story I promise…

It was always a feeling I felt deep inside that he wasn’t going to live very long. Once I mentioned this feeling to my husband and he didn’t want to say anything but he told me he always felt the same way.

At one point when he had a multitude of infections I met with a local intuitive and healer. She knew nothing of my personal anything and she immediately asked what was was going on with my son’s neck and legs. At that time he had bone infections in his legs and his lymph nodes were baseballs. I could see the fear in her eyes, she felt the feeling I had but she didn’t want to say it so I did. “I feel like he’s not going to be here long.” She immediately apologized she didn’t want to say anything like that but she knew too. At that point in his treatment plan we were going to head down to children’s hospital in a month for more invasive testing. She told me to bring him to her home immediately for a healing. Time was of the essence!
The next morning I brought him over for a session with Kathy, long story short he immediately took a turn for the better and within days he was healed! She taught him how to use the angels to help heal others. He was “taking on” their pain/illness as a way of healing those around him. He internalized the illnesses of others so they could be healed.

That’s not what my story is about. That’s just a smidgey of background. There are two big stories here, one, he is a Crystal Child and two, he was my little brother in a past life.

I will start with the “little brother” part of this story. I recently had a weekend of past life regressions. I’ve done regressions before but nothing like what I experienced. My guides took me on this regression. I almost didn’t want to go. I wanted to go on a luxurious past life where I was a rich Egyptian-yeah..no…seriously that’s where I wanted to go but my guides took me somewhere else. I actually tried to consciously fight against going to the boring 1800s house on the prairie-type life. My guides knew this “boring” life was important and relevant to my current life. I watched this life present itself to me. I saw myself as a young girl in the 1800s, I lived in a very small, bare bones, dirt floor house on a farm somewhere in the lower western-Midwest area. I was about 9-10 years old. It was my chore to feed the animals, the chickens, pigs, etc. I had a younger brother who was six at the time. I loved him very much, he was the only other kid I really even knew. He became very sick. Not with anything that would in modern times be considered serious but he had a multitude of infections including pneumonia and leg/bone infections. His lymph nodes were the size of baseballs. He passed away at six years old.

Watching this past life being presented to me was a gift. I could see and feel our souls together. It was incredible. I knew this was our connection that has spanned lifetimes. It helped me understand why, in this lifetime, I’m obsessively checking Drayce’s neck for lumps and thinking the worst when they blow up like baseballs. Throughout his current six years, I held onto this fear that I was manifesting his early departure by being obsessive. I just always had this feeling he was going to die young and I was just waiting for it to happen. I hated myself for that. I completely believe in Law of Attraction and I know the consequences of unhealthy obsessive worry. I had to release it. My guides brought me on a journey of understanding. Immediately following the regression I was able to release it. Now I hold our relationship a little more dearly, knowing it has spanned lifetimes. I excitedly told Drayce that he was my little bro in a past life (he gets it) and he just lit up! He was thrilled!

So cool.

I’ll save my Crystal Child post for a future one. I just recently learned about that! Truly amazing, maybe you’ve heard of Indigos, but have you heard of the Crystals??

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Raising Your Frequency

This upcoming Saturday I had a class planned, we were going to be doing meditations to meet with our loved ones on the other side. Well, two weeks before the class my guides told me “NO”. Not yet. If you know me I’m a do-er. I go go go and like to get the ball rolling. I’ve actually had this class in mind for YEARS. Well, I was told no and left with nothing but to wait and trust my guides.

About two weeks pass with no more information. I was quietly told “channel”. At first I thought the class was supposed to be on channeling. I went with it for a couple days. Then something kinda of amazing happened. I began to channel information from angels. I wasn’t mediating, but somehow I was in a very light trance-like state and I was given some incredible yet simple information on the different levels of personal frequencies and how they effect our overall quality of life and our psychic development. I was given a graph of sorts, the different levels of frequency. On the bottom is our dense, ego-, earth-based frequency, then the next level up is similar but one where we are operating out of love. The level up from there is close to our Higher Selves, this is where our guides and angels can “reach down to” to communicate but it is still a bit fuzzy or unclear. The next level up is clear communication, the level up from there is where our guides and angels “live” and the level up from there is the God-source, God, the universal oneness.

I was given information on how to reach these different levels. Not surprising, the lowest level is the most dense and takes the most conscious effort to release ourselves from because it’s the world around us. This is where the class comes in. We’ll learn how to release what holds us here, for many naturally intuitive people, this is where their “block” lies. The rest of the levels are ascension, learning and growing to live in the Oneness.

I still have more to learn, it’s incredible. I feel so lucky to be given this information, as I grow those around me grow. I don’t always know what’s next, for me it’s a surprise too!

My OTHER son’s Angel Friends

So I knew D’Angelo was a little more “in touch.” Especially since his third grade teacher asked what his goal for the school year was and he replied “I want to read auras.” (I swear I did not influence this! I don’t even talk about auras! Lol) BUT it never occurred to me my younger son, Drayce, had any type of connection or rememberings of Heaven.

Drayce is my wild one. He’d make the best best friend with his sense of adventure but as him mom I’m sure my life span has shortened. I’m not too familiar with the term Indigo child but I should look into it. He’s passionate. I say this because he’s either laughing or crying every five minutes. He’s my sweetest of all three of my children. He has the biggest heart and cares very deeply for others. He’s known in our family as Dramatic Drayce because if he wasn’t so shy he’d make a damn good actor. Before I had a daughter I called him my “girl”. The drama, the sweetness all in one package. Drayce is just a tiny bit different than my other children. He has always been a little unique, he had the cranial helmet as a baby, he didn’t speak until he was three, he has a significant developmental delay in regards to speech, language, and significant cognitive issues that are easily dismissed because he looks so normal. His brain works differently. He’s been in therapies everyday since he was three. He doesn’t understand safety so he needs to be kept in a bubble! He was always my sick kid.

I first mentioned how I never considered Drayce to be “in touch”. God was difficult to teach him because he doesn’t understand the concept. His thought process is very literal but yet he doesn’t retain much information. (After all I’ve said I should mention he’s made INCREDIBLE strides in the past three years and I truly believe someday he will be right on target!) So, he didn’t “know” who God was. Or so I thought. Silly me, I should have known better!

A few years ago we were on a trip to the cities. While down there I made a pit stop at a holistic book store while my family waited in the car. I found a deck of Archangel Michael cards that appealed to me. When I got back to the car we began to drive away and I pulled them out. Drayce, three years old at the time got a HUGE smile on his face and began squealing “it’s him! It’s him! The one with the sword!” He was beyond excited! I was too! Before then I didn’t have any kind of angel anything around the house. I knew right away he remembered him from someplace else, from Heaven.

Drayce was special. He was always sick. Nothing overwhelmingly serious just what I call quirky. His doctors had a very hard time with his treatment because at one given time he’d be sick with multiple illnesses where the treatments contradicted with another illness he had. The cycles of antibiotics and illness were non stop. The doctors actually told us he needed to be taken out of daycare because (listen carefully!) he picked up any and all illnesses from everyone around him.. He spent a little bit of time hospitalized because he currently had pneumonia, bronchitis, mono, swollen liver and spleen, strep, ear infections and bone infections in his legs. Nothing on its own would be very serious but this is how he’d get sick, everything all at once. We were clueless as to why. He didn’t seem to have any immune disorders and we were weeks away from tests at the children’s hospital.

During this time I was hosting an angel party. It turned out to have about 30 people that came. It was incredible, so healing and energizing. I just met Kathy a few weeks before and we didn’t know anything about each other, she didn’t know I had children. As soon as I sat down she had this look in her eyes of deep concern. She didn’t want to say anything but I could tell she knew. She knew what my husband and I always felt. It was always an unspoken knowing that Drayce wouldn’t live a long, full life. I think I mentioned this feeling I had once to my husband and he said he always had that same feeling. I’ve felt guilty over this thought because I knew in a way by having this thought I could be manifesting it too. It was upsetting but I couldn’t let it go. I just loved him each and every day and soaked up all the little snuggles and love I could. I never had this feeling with my other children, and I felt this since he was a baby. Now since he’s gotten older it’s a little more difficult because of the safety issue. He almost drowned last year and my heart stopped. It was a horrible waiting game of when. (We used to have a lighthearted joke “if we’ve made it to 18 alive we’ve done our job” we have since struck that from our vocabulary. Now it’s “thank God we have health insurance.”) I have since released my cycle of thinking this thought. I will not be the cause of this manifestation. I do believe in Divine timing and fully trust in God.

I could see in Kathy’s eyes the urgency. She would NEVER deliver information that is negative. Angels deliver messages in an uplifting, warm manner. If caution is ever warranted they deliver the information in an empowering way. I did not get an angel message like everyone else at the party. We never even got to it. She was able to intuitively sense the urgency of my son. She asked me to bring my son over immediately for a healing. I was willing to try anything. This was the point where doctors didn’t know what to do next.

The next day I brought Drayce over for his “healing”. This was my first experience ever with energy healing. It wasn’t my thing, still isn’t. I always thought it was woo-woo but I was desperate. It still isn’t “my thing” but I’m glad it is for others because I believe in it 100% now. I gladly accept these healings and respect their work very, VERY much.

I had no idea what to expect and when we first arrived she pulled out dowsing rods as a way to measure his energy field. It was about 4″ from his body. For people who are sick their energy field tends to be very close to them. For healthy individuals it can be anywhere from a few feet to across the room. I won’t go too in depth but she did some reiki on him and invited the angels in. Most importantly she taught him how to shield himself from others energies and how to use the angels to help others heal. She noted that his illnesses were not his own but he energetically picked them up from everyone around him. (Get it? Just like the doctor said, minus the energetic part) This resonated with me because he didn’t seem to have any conditions that would cause his illnesses, like the immune disorder or cancer, etc. He was just picking up other people’s sh*t. After the healing his energy read across the room.

Within a few days he was completely better. He hasn’t had any more compounded illnesses like that again since. That was three years ago. The doctor were amazed at his improvement and we no longer had to go down to children’s hospital for the awful testing we were planning.

After the healing Drayce became 100% obsessed with angels. We had to pick up any angel sculpture or angel themed anything. He’d pick out all the angel books at the library even if they had no pictures. He picked out one with no pictures and I said maybe he should get another one because he can’t read and he said “that’s okay, my angels will read it to me.” I let him bring it home and I heard him in his room talking to himself. I went to peek on him and there he was sitting on the floor with his book opened in his lap. He was looking up to the right talking to his angel then he turned and looked up to his left and talked to another angel. It was the most precious thing I’ve ever seen. Now, three years later he still talks to his angels but he’s beginning to “grow up” a little more. A little more Minecraft and a little less “imaginary” angel play.

It’s been adventure for six years now with my lil Draycer. I can’t wait to see him grow up.

My son’s spirit communication!

If you know my history you know my son as a toddler was able to remember things. He remembered his sister from Heaven, but he couldn’t communicate with Spirit.

Well, PROUD MAMA MOMENT! Last night, he had his first official, organic spirit communication! You may be surprised but I’m not super open about spirit communication within my household. My husband is not quite on board with my kookiness and out of respect I don’t push it onto our children. They know and love God, Jesus and the angels and that is about the extent of it.

Anyways, last night my 11 year old son came into by bedroom right when I finished up my meditation. He told me an old woman was talking to him and showing him things but the most exciting part was Hammy!! Hammy was with her!! Hammy was my son’s first pet, a hamster that lived for about three years then died about a year ago. He still gets emotional about Hammy.

I didn’t want to direct his communication but I wanted to help him have a successful conversation. The woman who was communicating allowed me to easily tune in and supervise. Although he didn’t know her I instantly recognized her as my great aunt Adelia. This made me comfortable. I wouldn’t let strangers hang around my son in physical life, I definitely won’t allow random discarnated spirits! Just like in physical life there are good and bad influences. So I used this experience as a lesson with the training wheels of mom. I gave him the basic questions to ask, do I know you? What is your name? Do you have a message for me? The images she showed him were fantastic, she showed herself as elderly, then went backwards through her life. She showed him images in an age appropriate manner, which I appreciated. The big part of the picture was bringing Hammy through. That was very special.

When the communication ended he said thank you to Adelia. At that point we were able to have a great conversation. I always tell my children in everyday life to invite angels into your space. Be sure to keep God with you at all times. I respect spirit communication very much. Luckily, if you ask God and the angels to be with you, then you are protected automatically. I was able to explain he has the right to tell spirit “no” whenever he’d like. To put up his boundaries. To not be open to communication constantly. To shut it down when appropriate. That he is in control. For most children, as well as adults just beginning, the only spirits God allows is your own family members.

I don’t know where this will go. It doesn’t have to go anywhere. Like I said earlier I won’t encourage or discourage. I will help guide him through if it happens again to learn to do it in a safe way and as his mom, make sure he’s well protected. I won’t go deep into spirit communication this time around but knowing who it is your speaking to can make all the difference in the world. Some teens, young adults and even grown adults don’t realize who is influencing thoughts or behaviors and being able to be aware if this spirit contact can be very beneficial in everyday life. Next month I will be hosting a meetup on spirit communication, this is not a subject to gloss over. So, hope to chat again soon! :)

Spirit Guides, my missing piece of the puzzle

I think it’s appropriate to touch on spirit guides since I’ll be holding a mediation class on the subject this month! (Shameless plug-but hey, it’s my blog!)

Coming from a religious background the idea of “spirit guide” made no sense to me. All I was ever taught was there is God, Jesus, the angels, Mary, etc. All my life I’ve been “in touch” spiritually but I knew I was missing a piece of the puzzle. The idea of spirit guides was way too “woo-woo” for me. But deep inside I knew had to explore what this term meant. I read books on the subject and it seemed like a nice idea but didn’t resonate with me. So I tucked this nice idea away for a few more years. I just kept my daily prayers to God and Jesus.

I wasn’t ready then. My mind was too framed in by the teaching I previously received. I honestly don’t even remember when it occurred to me to try again.

Meanwhile, I was still having conversations with God and Jesus. Yes, conversations. Not one sided. Jesus was really the chatty one. I just loved his company! Whenever I had a problem he knew exactly how to react, whether it was a hug or wise advice, he was there.

I mentioned before how people would tell me this was different.
I really didn’t understand why no one I knew chatted with Him like I do. I believe it was 100% possible for anyone to communicate like this, I myself am no more special or deserving than anyone else. I was really excited about the idea of introducing people to opening up their own two way conversations with Him! I mentioned it to a pastor and a few others and while some were intrigued I was met by resistance. Some doubted I was actually speaking with Jesus but it could possibly even be the devil. This shut me down. I was freaked out for a good long time. I wanted to be a good Christian. Play by the rules. But it was so hard, so stifling because Jesus always communicated with such love and wisdom. Psychics run into this a lot. (I just began using the term “psychic”) Drop any stereotype please because it is most likely incorrect. I’ll expand on the term another day. We are often told one thing but our own Truth is different than what people tell us externally. It took me a couple years to trust that I was talking to Jesus again. In that time I’d still say my prayers but I shut out any guidance I received because I thought I was wrong for receiving it. Do you see where I’m going here? I’m talking to someone that doesn’t live here on earth. I’m talking to someone that “works” for God. Someone that is a piece of God. Someone who “guides” me through life, gives me encouraging messages, loves me unconditionally, with me 100% of the time.

During various healings and reading I was repeatedly asked if Jesus was my guide. The very first time someone said this to me I was blown away. If you aren’t familiar typically during a reading the one doing the reading is looking down, up, off to the side basically anywhere else to focus on the energy not to be distracted by your facial expressions or your body language. The woman looked up at me, looked directly in my eyes with tears in hers and said, “Is Jesus your guide?” Then I teared up, she teared up and a great revelation hit me. Jesus was my guide!!! Holy shit!

Since then I’ve meet a few other guides. Some come and go. I have about three that have been with me for awhile now. The guides that are with you depend on a few things, your personal missions, your global mission, and your interests. Once you open up the communication with your guides and angels your whole life changes. You can barely comprehend how huge Heaven is! To every person here on earth you have an entire team of helpers and cheerleaders in the other side, made up of guides and loved ones all under the supervision of the “coach” God. How great would it be to live through your life with wise advice and cheerleaders?! You can! And it’s great!
So, what exactly is a spirit guide you ask? My long definition is as follows:

Spirit guides are entities who are highly skilled at transmitting energy from their dimension to ours. They choose us by our goals in this lifetime. They help facilitate communication between realms.

There are all different levels of guides, there are low level all the way to high level guides. Typically you have a mix.

A low level guide is a spirit who has incarnated at least one life here on earth, or if they haven’t lived on earth they have had a lifetime in another dimension. (Okay, I know this is a little woo-woo if you aren’t familiar-just hang with me here!)
Then, a level up would be the masters, for instance, Jesus, St, Germain. Someone who was a master here on earth.
The highest are the angels, such as Archangel Michael and Raphael.

Some are creative, artistic.
Some are intellectual, science, math, logic.
Some are leaders.
Some are peacemakers.

Some are being that have evolved into beings of pure light (God’s amazing, loving, pure energy).

Because this blog will turn into a book real quick I will save some information for the class. I will go into how to connect with your guides and how to know who it is you are talking to. This is very important. You must be able to differentiate a low level energy communicating versus a high level guide. I do believe this is what the concerned people in my life years ago were referring to. I do still hear some people that receive communication but if understood correctly, you can tell it is not from a higher source, and this is concerning. People should never blindly follow “voices in their heads” and be sure to pray and ask God for your greatest good and the greatest good for humanity. Just remember, everything is possible through God and it is not something to fear.

Until next time my friends! :)

If you are interested in learning more please let me know! I will be holding a group class and guided meditation on Saturday, May 31st from 10:00 am- 1:00 pm at the Proctor Area Community Center. The class is free but a $1-$5 donation for the space rental is appreciated. Hope to see you there!

💕Love and light☀️
Keely
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The Path, part 2, Learning Acceptance

In my last post I mentioned how I was always searching for an answer to what was inside my mind and heart. I always wanted to fit in “a box”. I needed a label. I wanted someone else to tell me what category I fit into. I FINALLY got out of that cycle! I finally learned acceptance…of me.

I recently “came out” on my DSC page. I didn’t use a label and fearlessly removed any “frame” I put around myself. I’m talking religion. If you know me you probably know how important God is in my life. Because of this value I can easily fit into a variety of groups. However, if we get into deep conversation on the topic the differences tend to surface. I mentioned in my last post my exploration of different religions. It turns out I’m obsessed with them all! I love the history of each religion and I can easily see the purpose to every. I’ve always considered myself a Christian because I know Jesus, I know him very well-he’s one of my spirit guides. Oops! I guess that may exclude me from that group. Spirit guides is a topic not spoke of. See my struggle of fitting in? More on spirit guides later…

A DSC member last month gave me the quote “where the feather meets the cross.” That was the first time I ever heard of this. A simple quote had a huge impact on me. Yes! That’s exactly what I feel inside! I see the bigger picture. Why the world consists of so many beautiful religions. They all serve a big purpose, a way for a person to frame in their relationship with God. I just happen to love a piece of them all. The history of Judaism fascinates me but my husband tells me I can’t be Jewish because I wasn’t born a Jew. (what does he know anyways!) I guess he’s going to tell me I can’t be part of the Native American culture either! I happen to resonate with them all. I always called myself a “Zen Christian” because I loved the philosophy of Buddhism as well. It’s been tough to stuff all this in a box. I can’t. I really struggled with this. When I have a struggle I turn inside. I have my quiet time with God, Jesus, the angels and my guides. I listen to their advice. Jesus has always been a great communicator.  His communication always wise, peaceful and extremely comforting. His messages always filled with compassion, always emphasizing forgiveness, and all centered around love.

I always thought this was Christianity. You speak to God and Jesus and they speak back to you.  When I would talk about this to others in church I’d get some funny looks. I got more than funny looks. Some would be intrigued but others would warn me about the devil manipulating me.  I appreciated their concern and it worried me. I didn’t really understand why I had that communication. Maybe it was “the devil”. I was more confused than ever. Do I continue believing I am really speaking to God and Jesus or do I ignore it and shut it out to be a good Christian? Why could the devil speak to me but not Jesus? Why would the devil guide me toward God, peace, forgiveness and love? I spoke to one pastor about what I was experiencing and he was a little helpful. I learned of spiritual gifts, I cried, I finally understood it was okay. But he still warned me to guard myself, which I have learned to do. But I also learned to keep it a secret.

I face a lot of persecution. Mostly of myself. I wish others could know how to and have such an intimate relationship with God. But I wasn’t in a place where all were ready to accept this possibility. So I had to keep my secret.  I was embarrassed by it. Feeling out of balance, I prayed. As Jesus always does he blessed me with his divine wisdom and guidance. He mirrored my situation with his while he was on earth. He faced religious persecution, here he was beaten and crucified, and I’m whining because people don’t understand me? Jesus, as my guide, gives me the strength I need to keep walking my path. It may be different than yours but that’s okay. I’ve learned to accept it. Accept myself. Honor my Truth, the one God has given me.

The Path, part 1, The Beginning

Hello. New to the blog world here. I’m trying to figure out where to begin. Maybe from the beginning? 

I think I’ve always seen the wonder the world has to offer. I can’t remember any “psychic” experiences as a child but I’m sure they happened I just never associated it with anything “psychic”. I actually didn’t make the connection until I was 30 and had it explained to me. I do remember always trying to figure out why I felt a certain way, a connection to God and Jesus that was slightly different from what external sources were telling me. My whole life I tried to figure it out. Growing up I went to a Catholic school and church. I LOVED it but I always felt like they were forgetting something but I so loved the great rituals around lent, Easter and Christmas. I knew God and Jesus personally so most of it made sense to me but I’d always be confused by some things, man made things. 

I also loved the Earth and celebrated and appreciated it. I always associated it in a spiritual way. I feel the magic of nature, I could feel God in every single part. Which, for a very short time as a teen I was fascinated with Wicca and could identify with honoring the natural world around me. (It’s a religion, not spells and preconceived notions about  witches).

I quickly gave that up because it didn’t jive with what I “remember” either. At that point I was a young teen and just too busy to think or explore my religious options. I knew and loved God and that was all that mattered. I was content with that.

When I was 18, I was surprisingly stable. (I may look back a laugh just a bit, but yes, stable) I had finished tech school, I had a good job, a stable, loving relationship with my boyfriend of three years, I’ve lived on my own for a couple years by then and I got pregnant. At first I kinda freaked out. I did feel very mature for my age but this was unexpected. Whew! At least I was an “adult”! After breathing deep and my mom saying she wasn’t mad, I began to get excited! Oh I was so excited! A joyous time.

One night I noticed I was spotting a bit. I wasn’t too worried but went to check it out. I remember being at the hospital and getting my ultrasound and seeing my perfect little baby. I felt relieved but then I was lying on the table feeling much better everything was okay and my father was on the phone. He was crying telling me he loved me. I kept saying, “it’s okay dad, I see her, she’s fine.” And she wasn’t fine. Maybe I was numb, I barely remember the hospital. They sent me home and told me I will begin to labor eventually. What? I was so confused. Maybe I was in my own little world. They probably explained what was happening to me but I couldn’t comprehend. I honestly don’t remember. I was past the point of miscarriage. This was considered a “late miscarriage” I found out later. I was in complete denial of what was happening. My baby was fine, I saw her. Well, now I know she had no heartbeat and they were waiting for me to begin natural labor.

Which took three days.

Knowing your child is dead inside of you is the most horrific thing I have ever had to experience.

I was completely numb. When I left the hospital the first time I just went to my moms house and laid on the couch staring at the branches out the window. Eventually my now husband, Lee, brought me to my childhood church. I thought if I was inside of a church my daughter wouldn’t die, it wouldn’t happen. I lay there on a cold, hard pew staring up into the cathedral wood ceilings thinking God wouldn’t do this. I took holy water. I still have that vial of holy water to this day.

Eventually I began to labor and went to the hospital. I will spare you the details. I never saw her.

I was in a foggy state of pure depression. I don’t remember the month it happened. I do remember, my friend and coworker, Jane, calling me to see if I ever planned on coming back to work. I mustered up the energy and returned the following week. I’m a stylist so I work with clients. I was in no shape to be around people so I just folded laundry in back and cried. It was pitiful. I was LOW. The lowest point in my life.

Because my life was a blur I don’t remember which day this happened but one day after I recently returned to work I had a visit. This was a my first visit of many. A woman appeared to me and said she had a message. We went to a private area and she began speaking about my daughter. She told me why she came, why she left so quickly, and the reason behind all of this. She told me my daughter, whom I named Victoriana, CHOSE me as her mother and Lee as her father. She explained what my future would be like, my journey, my path. In that moment, that angel, cured me. My depression was completely gone. I understood. It made perfect sense with my “rememberings” as a spiritual being growing up within religious boundaries. It was a profound experience that pointed me on my path. After we said our goodbyes we turned to part, I turned to look back at her and she vanished into thin air. She truly was an angel and I was so blessed by the experience. Number one, it confirmed to me the true existence of God as well as the angels and the rest of the realm. And number two, the angel delivered to me my purpose and guidelines for my life. I am beyond appreciative for the Divine intervention because I know most of the world has to survive on blind faith.

Since, I have had more angelic experiences as well as everyday communication with God, Jesus, angels and other beings.

One of the most special things in the couple years that followed my first Divine experience was that I had my “first” born son, D’Angelo, (which means “messenger from God”) which, the angel told me I would have. But I already “knew” that before my experience. But ANYWAYS, the special thing is when D’Angelo was about two and just learning to speak he would say he wanted “his sister”. He would cry because he missed her. HE KNEW HER ON THE OTHER SIDE! I loved this and encouraged it, but for my husband it caused too much pain and he would scold him for talking like that. So eventually it faded…until my second was born…